I was wrong all along. It wasn’t the blue eyed demons that I should have feared, but rather the brown eyed angels. I should have known only trouble would come from those brown eyes. Maybe I liked them so much because I saw my sweet jam in them. Maybe it was the fact that this brown eyed angle smiled while he fought, that made him trouble. Most people run from a lion, me I just show the lion that he’s not alone. Maybe that was my mistake, maybe being a lioness who is not afraid to show her claws was my down fall. I should have just let this ink covered world consume me.
I have to make a choice. Be the proud lioness I once was, or drown in ink.
I feel alone. No choice seems to be better than the other. My sweet lover wants to make the lioness inside me a circus act. I love him. God I really love him, but I can’t keep jumping through hoops. Lions were meant to be free. I wish he understood that, I wish instead of chaining me he ran with me.
When I fought this new man I saw the smile of a lion. I don’t think one lion is worth giving up the whole circus for. I’m in this awful limbo. The circus cages me, but it also gives me warmth and safety. This lion promises my old life, but I’ve been apart of the circus to long to be taken seriously as a lion.
My heart is torn between the life I have grown to love, and the life I had before everything got bad.