Everytime I look at him I become terrified. I can’t lose him, but old habits die hard. I have been with too many people who don’t want me because I’m funny, but rather because I’m “hot”. I became someone else because of it. Someone I don’t want to be. Someone who is sluty, and needy. He deserves better. He deserves a girl who looks in the mirror and thinks she’s beautiful, not a girl who avoids them because no amount of makeup can fix her depression. I want him to be happy. He says me being here makes him happy, but really all I’m doing is stopping him from finding the girl he deserves. I keep trying to fight these awful thoughts. I want to get better. Sometimes I wish I had wings so I could fly away. I know it sounds selfish, but he would be better off without me.