I’m going to be taking a break for awhile. Everything is just chaotic, and those awful thoughts are coming back. I am trying to get better, but it just doesn’t seem like I can. I’ve done everything. Usually, it works for a little while. Then something happens and I’m in this place. I can’t even write. I used to find so much joy in it. Now I’m struggling with every word. I don’t know how many times I’ve said nothing is wrong just today. How do I tell him that I’m worried he’s cheating, that I’m worried he doesn’t want me anymore? How do I tell her that I need her? I’m so focused on tests I lost myself. How do I tell my teachers that I need a break? How do I tell everyone that I’m relapsing? That I’m going back to that dark place?