I have never been so afraid of losing someone. My best friend was pissed when she found out. I felt so worthless. I think I love him. Why did I try to push him away? Why am I terrified? Most people have no problem loving, but it terrifies me. I don’t want to be that open with someone just to find out it’s a fling to them. I keep trying to tell myself that it won’t work, that a year isn’t long enough, that we both have too much on our plates, but when I look at you the world fades away and I’m happy again. I keep hoping that if I really believe it won’t work, I’ll stop thinking about him, stop thinking about how much I want to be with him.