I don’t know what I would do without him. Amo Julius, but I can’t tell him. I don’t know what to do. Telling him won’t change anything, just make me feel a little better. Telling him would probably make things worse. It’s bad enough that I can’t look at him without wanting to kiss him, and that it takes everything I have not to reach for his hand when we walk together. It’s driving me crazy, but I can’t let him know. I try so hard to fight the depression, but it’s about to win. I have to push him away. I can’t let him get hurt because of me. If I tell him he’ll leave, so why can’t I say it. Amo Julius.